Give Yourself the Gift of a Retreat

In her bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes a silent retreat on a tiny island near Bali. She created a space of solitude and introspection in which she could journal, cry, forgive, release and love herself into feeling more whole and balanced in the midst of a difficult divorce.

Like Elizabeth, I took a retreat that allowed me to look deeply at my life, acknowledge some truths and recommit to what is important to me. I returned from my retreat feeling lighter and more centred, deeply grateful for my blessings in my life and committed to focusing on the things that are most important to me. Here are tips for creating a silent retreat for yourself:

You’ve got to get away. No matter how you try to get around it, home is home and it’s full of things that will distract you from the complete attention you need. A cottage in off-season, a retreat centre, an island off Bali…whatever it is, find a place where you can completely focus on yourself and not your to-do list.

Make it silent. Limit your interaction with the outside world, including television, radio, internet, your e-mail inbox. Even limit phone calls to loved ones. The purpose is to focus on yourself and you can’t do that if you’re checking in with the world all the time. They’ll get by just fine without you.

Surrender. If you’re expecting wonderful things to happen, create room for them to occur. Whatever name you use -- God, Spirit, the Universe, the Higher Power – give It room to work by being willing to experience shifts and blessings.

Be active rather than passive. Reading books may give you insight but reading, which is passively taking in ideas, has to be balanced with the more active work of writing, thinking deeply and doing activities you may have chosen for yourself.

Write. If you use a journal, you know that journalling has the power to take less-than-positive thoughts and turn them around to show a more empowering perspective. You can also use a journal to empty your mind of the incessant chatter so that you can think without distraction. If you haven’t used a journal before try it. If you have, count on it being an important resource during your retreat.

Forgive. This huge step reaps deep rewards. I had a powerful experience under the late-night sky. In my mind, I had a conversation with each person I wanted to forgive. Then I chose a bright star on which to bury my grievances. I imagined the love that exists in the relationship reflecting back to me from the star and I felt peace and completion. Don’t forget to include yourself on the list of people to forgive.

Use rituals to support your experience. Just as using the stars supported my forgiveness, choose rituals that will work for you. Burning can be a powerful ritual of release – write out anything you want to release (situations, limiting beliefs) and then burn them. Native Indians have many rituals you may wish to consider including in your retreat.

Taking time for yourself to clear your mind and release things that may have been holding you back can be a very transformative and nurturing experience. You'll return renewed, relaxed and committed to giving yourself the git of a retreat again soon!